Are there people in your life that you hope to influence sometime? Maybe it is a simple as influencing your children. Maybe a neighbor or co-worker. Hopefully there are people that you hope to influence such that they come to faith in Christ. In order to accomplish that I have a question that we all will do well to answer: Can we influence people we don’t really like?

Something that I’ve learned along the way is that my attitude about people has a direct influence on how much, if any, influence I am going to have in their life. If we want to have a positive impact we have to begin with a positive attitude. You have learned, I’m sure, that people can see right through us when we have negative feelings about them. Not everyone has a “poker face”!

I can hear the next question percolating around in your mind: “If I don’t really care about someone, why do I care about having any impact in their life?” That’s fair. Our culture has pretty much made indifference a positive character quality. Sadly. The thing is that we are called to live in community. God made us for relationship, not for solitude. He didn’t create Adam and leave him all alone in the garden. He didn’t create the church in the hopes that we would wall ourselves off from one another. The truth is that with the rise of social media more and more people are living in solitude while the crisis in mental health continues to escalate. No, God made us for relationship and we are wise if we make the most of that, even with people we don’t care much about.

In order to accomplish this, there are a few things we have to do.

• We have to set aside our indifference and be willing to step outside ourselves. I have said in many counseling sessions that relationship is risk. There are no guarantees that our positive efforts will come back to us in kind.
• We must take Jesus’ words to heart in what has been called the Golden Rule. Do you want people to turn away from you when you might be in need of nothing more than a kind word? I’m sure not. Hence, don’t turn a blind eye to others when they might need a word from you.
• Watch the attitude. Sometimes we tend toward negative thinking toward others for no other reason than we don’t know them, or they are different than us. Be fair. Be gracious. Always remember that Christ showed grace to us first. Share that wealth!
• Make the decision to have an impact. We are unlikely to have a positive influence if we never make that decision! This is a choice that lies dormant until we act on it. It might take some emotional determination. It might require forgiveness of past offenses. Giving of ourselves is healthy for us and others.

You probably have the opportunity to influence someone today. However great or small the opportunity you will do well to overlook negative attitudes about others so that you can make a positive difference. You can, and will, influence others when you refuse the hate and indifference and choose instead to care about them and be involved.

Chuck Phillips

Life Choices Christian Counseling,LLC

Licensed Christian Pastoral Counselor, N.C.C.A.

Board Certified Professional Life Coach, I.B.C.C.

LifeChoicesCLC.Com LifeChoicesCLC@gmail.com

573-280-5093

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I am pleased to announce that my newest book is now available. “What Fills Your Heart: How the condition of your heart shapes your life” is available on Amazon. This is based on Proverbs 4.23 which says, “Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life.” In it I give a series of contrasts which will guide you to seeing yourself more accurately, such as: Fear or Faith? Joy or Sorrow? Proverbial Man or Prodigal Son? and others. You can find it here: https://a.co/d/0i1Rc2US