Through the years I have come across lots of individuals who carry an unnecessary burden of defining themselves by something that doesn’t really define them at all. There may be some physical malady or imperfection that feels like a weight that they can’t get out from under. I know that this was true for me since growing up skinny left me with a sense of insecurity when I compared myself with other boys. I remember being in a doctor’s office for a series of visits. One of the nurses had burns on her face so she wore her hair down over part of her face to hide the scars. I’m quite confident that she was uncomfortable due to the disfiguration, but she ignored the fact that her skills st nursing defined her more than the scars did.

Others mistakenly define themselves by their failures. They feel that their wrong choices will always be a dark cloud hovering over them, when in fact, we are able to outlive our past and create a new and improved legacy. This takes some boldness, courage and wisdom. The reality is that we can either live in the regret of the past or we can put forth the practical and emotional effort to overcome that and show the world who we are today.

Here’s the thing that I have learned along the way: Neither our weaknesses, nor our failures, nor our imperfections define us. As Solomon wrote in so many of his Proverbs, it is the heart of man which defines him. Not our looks, not our skills, not our ancestry, not our net worth. If I could convey this to those who come into my office seeking self-worth, their lives could be changed and the weight of their past could be overcome.

Don’t misunderstand me: we can’t erase our past. Nor can we make ourselves into Mr. Universe when we don’t have the physical ability. If you take 100 gallons of pure, distilled water and put a few drops of sewer sludge in it, it will never again be pure. There remains the impurity of the sludge. You might be able to filter it, but I doubt that many would be anxious to drink it, nonetheless!

Here’s what I hope you learn along the way…and sooner rather than later.: Just as that water carries the impurity of the sludge in it, we can’t erase our past. However, we are able to determine how we see ourselves today. Don’t allow the past or the opinions of others to define you. You make the choice and the determination of who you are today. And what’s more important, when we turn to Christ in faith He will make all things new. We carry the reality of our past with us, but when God forgives, He wipes the slate clean. God doesn’t see us as men see us. We do well to adopt God’s view of life rather than that of men.

Chuck Phillips

Life Choices Christian Counseling,LLC

Licensed Christian Pastoral Counselor, N.C.C.A.

Board Certified Professional Life Coach, I.B.C.C.

LifeChoicesCLC.Com LifeChoicesCLC@gmail.com

573-280-5093