How many times have you said, or thought, “If I knew then what I know now…”? For me? I’ve said that so many times I can’t even begin to count them! So often in our youth and young adulthood, we make assumptions that aren’t always on the mark. Then after a few years, we look back and wonder what we were thinking! When some time has passed we learn better how to conduct ourselves and, very often, end up wishing we had learned it in those early years.

I’ve begun to keep a list of these kinds of things. Or, to put it another way, I have a list of things I’ve learned along the way. I want to share them with you over the next several posts in the hope that you can learn from some of my mistakes. Not only that, but I hope to stir up in you some personal reflection(s) that might cause you to focus on what you have learned, or what you wish you had learned, as well as areas where you and I both could still benefit from…let’s say…some further life lessons. The issues that I will address aren’t in any order of importance. They are simply ideas and truths that have arrested my attention at odd intervals over the past several years and have helped me make changes. Hopefully not too late!. I hope you benefit from them, too.

The first lesson I’ve learned along the way is this: Don’t say the first thing that comes to your mind. I’m sure that you have heard it said that you should count to ten before you say something that you might regret. Proverbs 29.20 (NASB) says something like that: Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him. I have found this to be a very valuable insight in a lot of different ways. This might apply to a situation when an angry response would only add fuel to the fire of an argument. Or, to a moment between husband and wife when a thoughtless word can be misinterpreted, leaving hurt feelings which were never intended. It might apply to the temptation to be sarcastic. I have a friend who often says that there is always a little bit of truth in sarcasm.

If we practice some self-discipline/self-control, and make this a life-long habit, we will save ourselves and others a lot of unnecessary offense and heartache. Not only that, but according to the Proverb, we will avoid being compared to a fool. Let me add one more layer to this: Proverbs 17.28 says: Even a fool when he keeps silent, is considered wise; When he closes his lips, he is counted prudent (NASB). Do you see it? Let me put this in absolutely clear terms: Even a foolish, anger-filled, unrepentant, immature person who keeps his mouth shut can be considered wise and prudent. Do you think that is an over statement? Nope. In all reality, no one knows what is going on in the heart and mind of another person. You can be burning with anger but never speak a word about it and save yourself, and others, a lot of heartache.

It helps when we recognize that talking too much can be seen as a temptation. There may be multiple reasons for someone to talk too much (which I don’t have the format to go into in this blog). Suffice it to say that when, and if, we resist the temptation to talk too much we not only save ourselves from looking foolish and causing offense, but we might save ourselves from walking into a tempting situation that we should never have been in.

Things I’ve learned along the way. Trust me, at my age, I’ve made plenty of mistakes and learned from (most) of them. Controlling my words is just one of many lessons I will share with you. As always it can be beneficial to have a listening ear when you need to work on some of these issues. You can contact me with the information below for Christian counsel and Life Coaching.

Chuck Phillips

Life Choices Christian Counseling,LLC

Licensed Christian Pastoral Counselor, N.C.C.A.

Board Certified Professional Life Coach, I.B.C.C.

LifeChoicesCLC.Com LifeChoicesCLC@gmail.com

573-280-5093