I know. I know. We’ve all heard of the slang phrase about making assumptions. I’ll skip that and get to the meat of today’s blog. Last issue I wrote about choosing to love differently. Thank you for the positive feedback about that issue! I still want to address the theme of love, but from a different angle. Let me tell you a true story…

In college I was friends with a beautiful young lady. We had never dated but were well acquainted by virtue of our common classes and activities. One day she told me that the manager of a local pizza parlor asked her out. I knew about his reputation. You could say he was known as a womanizer, before that term became common. Anyway, I took her for a drive one day and warned her about his reputation. She refuted my argument and dated him anyway.

Maybe you can guess how this story goes. It wasn’t a week or two later that she called me and said let’s go for a drive again. She told me that I was right about him. He assumed certain things with her and she wasn’t going to have it! She was very thankful for my advice and ended their young relationship. However, it didn’t end there. You see, I was giving her my advice because we were friends, but there was an underlying assumption that she made. She assumed that since I showed concern for her that I was interested in a relationship with her.

The fact was that I wanted nothing more than to look out for her. I guess that was, and probably still is, a rare thing between people. (Is chivalry really dead?) Here’s the point: she was hurt, thinking that I led her on and didn’t follow through. It was her assumption that led to the hurt in the relationship. And this is the thing that I have learned along the way. It does not pay to make assumptions about love. I tell clients routinely, “More words!” Talk more. Communicate more. Relate. Talk about how you feel and why. How does your boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife make you feel? Ask questions about your relationship.

Here’s the thing that scares a lot of men. This higher level of communication doesn’t have to be about deep feelings. Small talk goes a long way in meeting needs. Don’t assume your partner understands everything, even your favorite flavor of ice cream or style of music. Rather than clearing the air about issues and giving you a better understanding about each other, making assumptions about love invariably leads to hurt and potential damage to the relationship.

The more you assume, the more likely the slang phrase about it comes true!

Talk more. Assume less.

Chuck Phillips

Life Choices Christian Counseling,LLC

Licensed Christian Pastoral Counselor, N.C.C.A.

Board Certified Professional Life Coach, I.B.C.C.

LifeChoicesCLC.Com LifeChoicesCLC@gmail.com

573-280-5093

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Here’s a resource to help guide you in avoiding these assumptions. Becoming an Inviting Target: Steps You Can Take to Make Yourself More Loveable is all about how you can work on yourself rather than expecting your partner to change just for you. Don’t point fingers expecting them to do all the work. You start! Look for ways you can meet their needs and take action!

Available on Amazon Click here: https://a.co/d/05Wqr0AJ