How would you define motivation? Being inspired to get something done? Incentive? Stimulus?  How about something a little simpler, like “want-to”? It has been my experience that unless I really want to do something all the attempts at motivation ring hollow. This has been true when it is self-motivation, but even more so when it has been external motivation. That is, when someone else tries to “help” me get things going, even with good intentions. I know that there are times when an individual may respond to external motivation just to get someone off their back!

What motivates you? I suppose that it depends on what is the subject at hand. I’ll let you in on a little bit about me…I really don’t like to blow leaves in the Fall. We have lots of trees and two lots, so there are lots of leaves to clear away. Really can’t leave them laying on the ground because they pack together and kill the grass below them. So, I have to get myself motivated to do something that I know is needed. And that’s the answer for me on that topic. I do it because I know it needs to be done.

There are other times when I need to work on self-starting because there isn’t any real pressure to get it done. I say I want to do it, but it keeps getting pushed back again and again. I used to think I wanted to learn to play a musical instrument (beside drums, which don’t make melody!). So, I have bought everything from harmonicas to keyboards to guitars to saxophones! I hate to think of how much money I wasted on this. I came to realize that I loved the idea of playing an instrument more than actually putting forth the effort to learn to play. This has helped me in other areas as well.

There are some things I want to do, like writing a book, which I am motivated to do. I don’t find it hard to get motivated because this is a real interest for me. I am now in the process of writing my third book. There are other subjects that I still have to make myself get started on. Not just get started, but keep going. For example, I bought a table-top griddle because I watched a lot of ads touting all the wonderful things you can cook on them. It’s true. There is a wide variety of foods for which you can use a griddle. Now, ask me how many times I used it. Ok, I’ll tell you…maybe three. Guess where the griddle is. Gone, that’s where.

What in your life needs motivating? One of the topics that I deal with routinely in Christian Counseling and Life Coaching is marriage problems. So many couples know there are problems or weaknesses on their marriage, but they aren’t motivated to work on them. It becomes kind of like having trouble with you car and not getting it fixed because you hope it will just go away! Marriage problems rarely just fade away. The longer the problems persist, the deeper go the roots, until it becomes nearly unsalvageable. Tragically, the fear of dealing with problems and the anticipation of the pain that goes along with it keeps many people out of the counselor’s office.

Let me encourage you in this. Make the choice to address the needs in your marriage and relationships before the roots go too deep. Yes, there is some discomfort to facing the truth about yourselves, but some discomfort now is better than lots of pain later. And don’t wait until others see the problems in your marriage and begin to try to motivate you to get help (external). Show that you love one another enough to take the steps yourselves (internal). It takes a lot of love and maturity to face problems honestly and begin to make the changes necessary to fix them. You’ll be glad you did.

Chuck Phillips

Life Choices Christian Counseling,LLC

Licensed Christian Pastoral Counselor, N.C.C.A.

Board Certified Professional Life Coach, I.B.C.C.

LifeChoicesCLC.Com LifeChoicesCLC@gmail.com

573-280-5093