I have often said to clients that each person has a limited amount of emotional ability at any given time. It’s sort of like a bank account from which we get money to spend, which depletes what we have available to us, until we are able to replenish the funds. It is healthy to look at emotions the same way. We are wise if we “spend” our emotions carefully rather than going about recklessly splurging on emotional outbursts which can leave us emotionally exhausted and depleted.

In the whole concept of emotional management there is what is known as being “emotionally hijacked”. To pose another metaphor, think of an airplane hijacking. Someone commandeers the plane and forces it to destinations unknown and unplanned. It can be the same with being emotionally hijacked. Some event occurs which stirs up our emotions to a great degree. It might have hit us unexpectedly so our emotional reaction might be out of proportion. We rant and rave; we quickly grow furious; or, we shrink back in an overpowering fear that paralyzes us. The greater our routine emotional control the less likely we are to give in to this loss of emotional control.

Emotional control, or emotional management, is something that you can learn. However, it takes time and effort. Much like learning a new language, emotional management takes consistent attention and practice. You have to make decisions about how you will react and respond to situations before they occur. You have to determine who you want to be and how you want others to see you. You will want to evaluate possible scenarios and think ahead about how you will deal with them. To simplify this, it means that you will think before you speak.

How is this emotional wealth? Just like putting money in a savings account (which used to be a great way to build your net worth!), practicing emotional management is keeping watch over your emotions such that you aren’t dipping into your emotional reservoir to spend (or waste) your emotions where there is little to no return. This way you don’t find yourself emotionally exhausted, or bankrupt, when you need to give a balanced response to a situation.

Did I mention that the person with good emotional management usually faces less stress in life? They have less anxiety. Why? It is because they have a strong balance in their emotional account. They can handle situations without becoming overly stressed because they have created a plan for their emotional reservoir which puts them in a strong position to deal with whatever comes their way.

This is so practical but so often overlooked in our society. It’s not that emotional management is too hard. It just takes discipline and self-control. You can do this. I can help. Use the contact info below to get started.

Chuck Phillips Life Choices Christian Counseling, LLC

Licensed Christian Pastoral Counselor, N.C.C.A. Board Certified Advanced Christian Life Coach, I.B.C.C.

LifeChoicesCLC.Com LifeChoicesCLC@gmail.com 573-280-5093