One of the most important things we can do in relationships is to show that we value one another. This is true among family members as well as between friends. It is especially important between husbands and wives. But how do we show that we value one another and why is it so important?

Let’s look first at how we can do this. In any type of relationship it is easy to fall into the rut of taking people for granted. That means we assume the quality and importance of the relationship without making any effort to keep in touch or to celebrate one another. We might say that the relationship is important but our lack of effort proves otherwise. We don’t call when we think of one another. We assume that the others in the relationship know us and what we are thinking, what our likes and dislikes are, and so on. That then ends up with us not knowing them any better than they know us.

If you value someone then you will give evidence of it by making efforts toward them. You will call when you think of them. You will talk to them when you are with them and not just lounge around. You will look out for their interests rather than your own. Husbands and wives need to pay special attention to this. Paul taught the Ephesians church about this in Ephesians 2 when he wrote that they shouldn’t do anything from selfishness but should look out for the interests of others. Don’t wait for them to serve you but look for opportunities to serve them unselfishly. It will come as a wonderful surprise when husbands carry out some acts of service for their wives unexpectedly. Sometimes the shock comes for a wife when her husband just takes time to listen to her!

Why all this effort? When it comes to marriage, the importance of showing that you value your mate is shown in the statistics on divorce. If we learn to live in a caring, unselfish way, I can guarantee that we can change the rate of divorce in our country. Then, there is the aspect of wanting to please not just others with whom we are in relationship but also to please God Himself. Showing that we value one another is a proven way of giving evidence of love. Do you love others as God loves you? Remember that love is not just a noun, but an action word. Love is not something about which we idly speak. Love is something we live out. We have opportunity to prove it every moment of every day. Here’s a test that I don’t really recommend for you: If you were to ask others in your circle of friends and relations if they know that you value them, what would they say? As an example, there are too many wives who will say yes to their husbands but who don’t mean it. Their husbands are too self-absorbed and don’t really show that they value their wives. The result is that they end up in my office struggling to stay in what feels like an empty relationship.

So, take stock of what you say. If you say that you love someone and value them then be sure that you follow those words up with action. If others in your relationships aren’t sure that you value them, then they aren’t sure that you love them. Think about it.

Want more coaching on how to value others? Use the contact information below. We can set up a free 30-minute discovery call to set you on the right path.

Chuck Phillips, Licensed Christian Pastoral Counselor, N.C.C.A. Board Certified Professional Life Coach, I.B.C.C.

LifeChoicesCLC.Com LifeChoicesCLC@gmail.com 573-280-5093

____________________________________________________

And a quick reminder of the free book giveaway. I’m giving away one free copy of my newest book, Becoming An Inviting Target: Steps you can take to make yourself more loveable. Enter at LifeChoicesCLC@gmail.com with the words “Book Giveaway” in the subject line. I’ll add you to the emailing list and enter you in the drawing for the free book. Your information will not be given out or used in any way other than Life Choices emailing. Good Luck!