We’ve had several dogs through the years. Boxers. German Shepherds. Blue Healers. And on it goes. I’ve always been a fan of medium to large dogs. In fact, I used to tell my kids that if you had to bend over to pet it, it wasn’t a real dog! We had fun with that and it cemented in everyone’s views what was a good size for a dog. Until…

I wrote to you last week about the Three C’s: Courtesy, Consideration and Compliment which are important to move us out of our routine echo chambers where we hear what we want to hear from people who will only agree with us. I will admit that this is not usually the path most people take. We like to be reinforced. We want to be with people who agree with us. But to stay in that closed-minded arena prevents us from an honest exchange of ideas that might well benefit us in the long run.

This week I want to add to the second C: Consideration. Which brings me back to the dog story. As I mentioned above, I prefer larger dogs. I find them more active and playful, better guard dogs (if you need that), and easier to pet. And then I met my, now, wife. Yes, she loves dogs, too. Yes, she had a dog when we met…a very little dog which weighs around 8 pounds dripping wet. She sleeps like a cat, which is to say all day long. She isn’t active. Won’t play or fetch or chase around the house or yard. And my wife loves her.

Here’s where I make the choice to get out of my own echo chamber. I still like big dogs, but I made the choice to be considerate of my wife’s preference. Now, guess where the little dog sleeps most of the time? Snuggled down into a tight spot beside me in my chair. Oh, how times have changed! Again, let me stress that I prefer big dogs. But because of love I made the choice to be considerate. I put my wife’s preferences ahead of my own.

Here’s the application, for men and women, regardless of the circumstance: Are you stuck in your own echo chamber? Are you insisting on your own preferences without giving loving consideration to those of your mate? It might be about furniture, landscaping, how you spend or save money, child discipline, where to set the thermostat, and on it goes. Let me make this perfectly clear: You might be totally right about your preferences being the better choice. However, this isn’t about being right. This is about being loving.

In Counseling and Life Coaching sessions, I have often caught people by surprise when I ask them if they’d rather be right or in love. To be right means insisting on their own preferences regardless of the hurt or offence that might cause. To be in love means to be willing to give up our own preferences in consideration of our mate’s. So, be sure that you show love to your mate by loving their little dog, or their opinion about furniture, or their ideas for the next vacation. Show some Consideration today.

As always I am ready to help you through this learning process whether it is through Counseling or Life Coaching. Contact information is below. Let me know what I can do to help!

Chuck Phillips, Licensed Christian Pastoral Counselor, N.C.C.A. Board Certified Advanced Christian Life Coach, I.B.C.C.

LifeChoicesCLC.Com LifeChoicesCLC@gmail.com 573-280-5093