As I have travelled this road of Pastor, Counselor and Life Coach it has been my privilege to share in the lives and stories of hundreds of individuals, couples and families as they have come to share their burdens and needs with me. There are often common themes that run through the lives of many of them, whether it be communication needs, financial stability, help with parenting, etc. Even with these common themes I have found that each situation stands alone because each situation involves unique individuals and couples. The fact that they are willing to bare their souls in my office is something that I don’t take lightly.

In both Counseling and Life Coaching it is important that there be a high level of trust between the client and me. It is important that we are able to develop this trust because they are here for solutions and guidance. We can’t find answers until the true needs are on the table and this won’t happen until they feel safe in sharing their hearts with me.

I have found several things that are important in setting the stage for this high level of trust. One is to be a good listener. One of my wife’s most common phrases with our grandchildren is “Put on your listening ears.” Obviously, the same needs to be true of me when I am with the client. Something that is often said of counselors and coaches is that they need to be “present” with the client. That is, it is important that their focus be entirely in the moment and on what the client is saying. I have learned how important it is to stay focused as they relate their needs to me.

Another facet of building trust is to ask questions. My goal is to develop as complete and specific an understanding of the client as possible. When I want to dig further into their explanation, I will often ask probing questions in order to fill out my understanding. I want to have an accurate picture in my mind because the better I understand them the greater the trust we can build together.

Another important aspect of building trust is probably the most obvious: Confidentiality. This is doubly important in my practice because my office is in our home. When I am in the office with clients, there may be family members downstairs. I am careful to ensure that little or no sounds can be heard by others in the house. Also, it is important that all of my notes and files are kept secluded and away from anyone who may walk into the office. Nothing of my conversations with clients is ever communicated with others so that we can preserve their confidentiality and just as importantly, their sense of safety.

As I mentioned above, I cannot imagine treating this trust lightly. It’s hard for me to communicate to you the privilege that it is for me to know this trust and to hear the deepest and most heartfelt needs in their lives. I am in awe of the gift that God has given me to walk alongside others and to carry their burdens with them as we search for answers and direction in their lives. What a opportunity God has given to us!

As always, if you find yourself in circumstances which you feel could be helped by either Christian Counseling or Life Coaching please feel free to contact me. We can work together in person, over the phone or via ZOOM.

Chuck Phillips, Licensed Christian Pastoral Counselor, N.C.C.A. Board Certified Advanced Christian Life Coach, I.B.C.C.

LifeChoicesCLC.Com LifeChoicesCLC@gmail.com 573-280-5093